Now, this might be a little facetious of me, but I believe I am invaluable to WKU Sports. I think this even though, as a lowly reporter for the College Heights Herald, I have as slim a connection with the inner workings of the program as a janitor or an idiot Hilltopper Haven poster.
Why do I believe this? It's simple.
I got the Midas touch.
Simply put, everything I report on turns to gold.
To prove my theory, let us run down all of the sports I covered since last August.
WOMEN'S SOCCER
Women's Soccer was my first beat that involved going to games and not having to worry about whether my articles would be reduced to four-inch briefs or whether or not they would be in the paper at all. With this added security, I was able to up my reporting game something righteous.
And up it I did. Although it started out kind of rough, I was soon able to get into a routine and churn out some pretty rocking stories. And what was more, the women's soccer team was having their best season ever. The season featured a 10-game winning streak and a 13-game unbeaten streak. They finished with a record of 13-2-3 overall record and a 8-1-2 conference record. They won their first Sun Belt Conference regular season title and a number one seed in the tournament semifinals.
Why so much success? Was it because of the leadership of SBC Player of the Year Morgan Thomas, SBC Coach of the Year Jason Neidell, and all-conference team members Meredith Goodson, Alicia Dalby, Rachel Friedman and Mallory Outerbridge?
Maybe, but more likely they just benefited from my supreme sportswriting powers. That's my story and I'm sticking too it.
WOMEN'S BASKETBALL
Women's basketball, the big little time. The one sport that people besides the reporter's family and the players' families might actually read. And it was all mine this year. This season in Lady Topper basketball had a lot of questions associated with it.
Head coach Mary Taylor Cowles had gone four years without a Sun Belt championship, much like men's counterpart Darrin Horn. And like Horn, her butt was firmly in the hot seat in the eyes of many fans and possibly some in the administration. On the players side, senior forward Crystal Kelly had gone three seasons bootyfooking the record books, but did not have a championship to show for it. If she didn't do it this season, how would she be remembered?
These questions were answered, mostly because of my savagely awesome reporting mojo. Not only did they win the regular season title, but their first Sun Belt championship since 2003 and a subsequent trip to the NCAA tournament as a 10-seed. Their opponent, 7th seed UTEP, who had not been to a POSTSEASON TOURNAMENT in the program's history.
So, like a conquering hero, did I go to Stanford to spread a little more of the Tall Dude voodoo. Unfortunately, I was subject to a 32-point drubbing at the hands of a Miner squad full of a bunch of butches and a center that looked like a yeti. But I consider that an anomaly, so forget everything I just said.
TRACK AND FIELD
This marked my second consecutive foray into the world of running around in an oval and throwing stuff. Having already reported on it during the 2006-2007 season, I was hopeful that my new found powers of sportswriting providence would be extolled upon the team.
And extolled it was. The women's team continued their success, winning both the indoor and outdoor Sun Belt championships, so they really didn't need my juju. But the men's team, who hadn't won an indoor championship since 19-Seventy-Freakin'-Six, needed it like a anorexic needs a sammidge.
And they got it, thanks to me, but also to efforts such as those of the men's 4x400 relay team of Gavin Smellie, Terrill McCombs, Romaine McKay, and Alexander Larin, who made it all the way to nationals and placed eight among the biggest track schools in the country. I wish I was there.
They continued that success in the outdoor season, again sweeping the conference titles and are now preparing for the NCAA's. Much Tall Dude luck to them.
So there you have it, readers. My bulletproof theory regarding my magic touch with WKU athletics. So if your luck is taking a turn for the worse, call me and maybe I'll write about YOU!
TALL DUDE'S NOTE: Yes, I did cover men's soccer for a time, and yes, they got dropped like Rondo in game 7 vs. Atlanta. But since I didn't cover them for there entire season, I'm not counting that against me.
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